As a therapist who offers premarital counseling, I help couples prepare for the big day—and the exciting journey ahead. But a wedding is not always the end game.
Why Couples Come to Premarital Counseling
Couples seek premarital counseling for different reasons. Some are engaged and want to start their marriage on the right foot. Others are already married but feel they missed out on important conversations. Some aren’t even engaged yet but want to strengthen their relationship. Reasons can range from resolving conflicts to understanding each other’s expectations and values better.
Common Topics in Premarital Counseling
In our sessions, several common themes and issues often come up. Here are some of the topics we cover.
- Communication: Master the art of talking and listening so you can express your needs and truly understand each other.
- Expectations and Roles: Getting on the same page about who will do what around the house, career goals, and sharing responsibilities.
- Children: It’s not just about whether you want kids, it’s how you’ll raise them, and what values you’ll teach, from bedtime stories to big family traditions.
- Finances: Money talks! I help couples figure out budgeting, saving, spending, and whether to go joint or keep it separate accounts.
- Intimacy: We discuss how to maintain both physical and emotional closeness and address any concerns.
- Conflict Resolution: Every couple has disagreements. Learn to handle them like pros and keep the peace.
- Past Influences: People don’t often understand how their past experiences shape their views on love, conflict, and money – but they do!
How We Structure Counseling Sessions
I use a structured approach to make sure we cover all important topics. Some of that work may be done online.
Usually, I follow a ten-session model, which can be condensed to eight sessions if needed. Each session focuses on a different topic, like finances or intimacy. Couples often get homework to complete between sessions, helping them reflect individually and then discuss their insights together in our meetings.
Surprises and Discoveries
One surprising aspect is the depth of issues that surface during counseling. Even couples who have been together for years often discover new things about each other. For instance, different financial habits may stem from their parents’ attitudes towards money, or views on intimacy might be influenced by what they saw growing up.
Understanding these factors fosters empathy and helps couples see each other in a new light, leading to “aha” moments that can clarify long-standing misunderstandings.
Common Patterns and Issues
A frequent pattern I see is one partner expressing their feelings while also trying to reassure the other excessively. This dynamic can indicate deeper issues, like a fear of conflict or prioritizing the partner’s happiness over their own.
Identifying such patterns allows us to address the root cause rather than just the symptoms. For example, a couple might repeatedly clash over financial decisions, but the real issue might be one partner’s fear of financial instability due to a frugal upbringing.
The Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling gives couples the tools to handle future challenges. It provides a safe space to discuss sensitive topics and helps build a foundation of respect and understanding. Even if you’re confident in your relationship, counseling can help you discover hidden dynamics and strengthen your connection.
Book a Free 15-Minute Consultation
I love helping couples get ready for their journey together. Whether you’re tackling current issues or setting up for a strong marriage, premarital counseling offers valuable insights and strategies. It’s an investment in your future, so you can start a partnership with a clear understanding of each other and a solid plan for navigating life’s inevitable challenges.
If you’re thinking about premarital counseling, let’s visit for 15 minutes. I see couples in person and those virtually in the state of Texas. We can see how the time with your partner might help you both.
This blog was written by Chelsea Koutroulis, M.Ed., LPC-Associate, CST. Koutroulis is supervised by Megan Pollock, MS, LPC-S, CST.
